Since whats App came, frankly speaking we have stopped speaking frankly.
Earlier we used expressions like ‘Technically speaking’, ‘honestly speaking’, ‘aesthetically speaking’ or ‘statistically speaking’ to emphasize our point the most trending now is ‘what’s appically speaking’.
Whether you want to lambast Joe Biden or call someone a butcher, you lean on to whatsapp. But still it is very useful.
It was named whatsApp to sound like ‘whats up?’ By the way (BTW) WhatsApp was founded by Brian Action and Jan Koum, former employees of Yahoo, Russian developer Igor Solomennikov , actually developed it. So it is a cross product of Russo-US combine in a way to speak.
Today within a dozen years of its launch, it has taken the world by storm. You get a barrage of text and video messages in such rapidity that you are gasping for breath the moment you are on Whats app. You spend a lot of time deleting trash. It has a treadmill affect sitting on a chair! Now someone has to come up with a ‘choice filter’ to filter out messages you may not be wanting to get on to your device.
Yet I find there is a method in the madness. First you find the guys who don’t read anything but are great forwarders. As if they are holding a MMG (Medium Machine Gun) in their hand and are trigger happy. They are the CFO’s of the game-Chief forwarding officers. Many fire five hundred a day or more. There is no way to stop them unless you put sanctions- the most fashionable word today. Believe me, if you charge even a quarter of a Rupee or even ten paisa per whats app, they will mend their ways.
Then there are some tube lights who see their whats app may be once in a day- may be need some energy booster to become more active. These are the two sides of the spectrum. In between are ‘regulars’ who do read and take a call according to what they feel/think.
This regular lot reveals a lot #whats appically speaking.
There are right wingers who clearly stand for the right, left wingers stand for the left and there are horizontals who don’t stand for anything- they have no opinion about anything.
You don’t have to be a behavior analyst or a psychologist or a trained Psephologist to understand who is who and who is what? After a few days you clearly understand who stands for what and may be why? What is easier to discern than why.
For instance since 2014-15 after BJP came to power and Narendra Modi became the Prime Minister some fancy terms have emerged like ‘Modi Bhakt’,‘Modi Basher’ or in the worst case ‘Modi haters’. If so many terms spring up for a personality, it means he has arrived and he is doing something right. The comedian in the race is termed a standup comedian alone.
Modi bhakts is fine but you don’t know why there are Modi bashers or worst haters?
One can understand the problem of the political parties in opposition- It is their job to criticize. Their survival is based on that tenet. You can also understand compulsion of some universities/colleges who may be getting some largesse to speak against the Modi administration. Students also get into 80:20 category, many spend 20% time in colleges and 80% on streets in protesting- they don’t even know what they are protesting for or against! ‘Hamari mange poori karo’ When you ask what is their ‘maang’ it is against attending the college!
‘Humko Chahiye Aazadi” Bhai aazadi from who- bharat aazad hue 75 saal ho gaye. ‘Nahi humko chahiye aazadi’.’ Hum Leke rahenge aazadi’ toe lelo. Abhi taak to milee nahi. Funny no?
But what about a common man including the swelling Indian middle class? Well-read, educated rich guys have a problem with Modi ji. Ok, everything government does cannot be right but then everything cannot be wrong too! But they have to and have to criticize Modi ji. Some may just have a problem with his beard, another one says, he is not an actor, why he changes dresses so often. Idiot, you want your PM dressed like a pauper? “Mere 15 lakh nahi miley.” Who said that? Modi never said that. Someone says ‘why spend 2500 Crores on Statue of unity? Gareeb ko khanaa do’. Is there a price for honor silly? Then tomorrow someone will say why flags on government buildings? You can use that cloth elsewhere-Instead give clothes to the poor!
Someone said ‘He is travelling abroad to have fun on our money’. I asked him have you ever travelled 17 hours nonstop to America and with a jet lag delivered back to back five speeches in a day where the whole world is watching you? They have no answer but will still say ‘But he is going abroad’ idiotic no?
A recent message said that Why give tax free status to Kashmir files? Instead give free books to school books and do not tax. Any way there is no GST to be paid by students on printed books Come on bro how much free you want?
Many of my friends ask ‘yaar yeh Sikh BJP ko hate kyun karte hai? 1984 main to Inko congress ne mara thaa, almost 10,000 of them were massacred in a few days?’ Is that not right?
BJP has almost no presence in Punjab where the population has more than 50% Sardars!
Whatsappically speaking I can’t find the answer to this simple question. Can someone give a reasonable answer?