Harāmgarh Ke Shlolay
Ever thought what would happen to Sholay if the iconic movie were to be made in this era ? Here is the Woke Liberal version of Sholay.
Since Rām is Harām in Bollywood, the village will be named Harāmgarh. Hence the movie will be “Harāmgarh Ke Sholay.”
Thakur Baldev Singh is the Brāhminical Patriarch who has thrown the Dalit leader Gabbar Singh out of the village. Comrade Gabbar lives in the rocky mountains on the outskirts of the village with his fellow Comrades Kālia, Sāmba and others. They are branded Maoists by Thakur and his acolytes.
The poor but kind villagers help the Comrades lead by Gabbar Singh by giving them ration regularly. Brāhminical Thakur doesn’t like it one bit and wants to stop the villagers from helping Gabbar. Hence he hires two Sangh Pariwār goons Jai and Viru, who are experts in engineering riots.
Instead of fighting Gabbar, Jai goes after Thakur’s widowed daughter in law Rādha. Womanizer Viru cons innocent Dalit girl Basanti Tongawāli and she falls in love with him. The villagers don’t like their girls being usurped by Sanghi goons but are forced to keep quiet because of “Darr Ka Mahaul” (atmosphere of fear) created by Thakur and his Sanghi goons.
Two people in the village protest against “raising intolerance” of Thakur, Jai and Viru. Basanti’s feminist Mausi Arun Dehati and the honest and peaceful Imam Saheb. Mausi refuses to give Basanti in marriage to Viru because she hates the divisive agenda of Sangh Pariwār. Mausi calls Gabbar and his gang of good natured Maoists “Gandhians with Guns”.
As per devious plan hatched by the Thakur, Jai and Viru lynch Imam Saheb’s son Ahmad alleging he was eating beef. Poor Ahmad was eating Paneer Masala given to him by Surma Bhupali, the honest journalist. Veeru and Jai frame Gabbar Singh in the murder case of Ahmad. They spread the fake news on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. Angrezon Ke Zamaāne Ka Jailer comes to arrest Gabbar.
To prove his innocence, Gabbar kidnaps Basanti, so that he can force Jai and Viru to confess their crimes. Jai and Viru use disproportionately brutal power against the poor “Gandhians with Guns” and try to destroy Gabbar and his friends.
Surma Bhupali, the Maggie Sauce award winner journalist tells the villagers the truth about Jai and Viru’s Sangh Pariwār hands behind killing of Ahmad. The villagers finally unite and attack Jai, Viru and Thakur to save Basanti and Radha from their evil designs. Jai Bheem – Jai Meem (Dalit – Muslim) unity of villagers and Imam Saheb conquers over the tyrannical Brāhminical forces of Thakur and Sanghi goons.
Jai is killed by Angrezon Ke Zamaāne Ka Jailer when he comes to know the truth of Ahmad’s murder. Viru is driven out of Harāmgarh and declared “Tadipār”. Thakur gets killed by angry mob supporting People’s Hero Gabbar Singh. Gandhians with guns finally return to Harāmgarh to end the “Darr Ka Mahaul”.
Basanti marries Gabbar Singh. Gabbar wins election and becomes MLA of Harāmgarh. On Imam Saheb’s request, Gabbar bans RSS from the village to restore communal harmony. Imam Saheb marries Rādha and the whole village hails the revolutionary widow marriage.
Angrezon Ke Zamaāne Ka Jailer marries the Transgender in jail to promote LGBTQWERTY rights. Gabbar and Basanti’s child is named Lāl Salām though they refuse to assign a gender to the child. The story of child finding its own gender will be told in the second part.
Harāmgarh Ke LeLay: The Beginning...
